This is a photo of my dad reading his speech at our wedding. I am very lucky to have worked with my dad for eleven years as we built a group practice with my brother, Jeff that went from three dentists in one location to eight dentists awesome team members WORKING TOGETHER in two locations in a collaborative, patient-centered and fun way. This is our website.
F Bombs from My Dad!
My dad pulled in our driveway from his dental practice at 5:30 pm and saw me across the street. It was 1985, I was seven years old and I had set up a candy store on the sidewalk. My dad sauntered over to see me dejected because I had yet to make a sale.
How much for a piece of candy . . . my dad asked.
50 cents per piece.
How much for all of it?
My eyes lit up quickly thinking for a life changing price. 5 dollars . . . I exclaimed.
Sounds fair. I will take it all.
As my dad handed over a five dollar bill which I knew would change my 7-year old life (remember this was five bucks back in 1985), I proudly packed up the candy into the bag and handed it to my dad.
Oh yeah. There was one more part to the story I probably should mention. My entire candy inventory for my pop up sidewalk store was all of the candy from our house. I went into our candy storage area above the fridge (without permission), took all of the candy my dad had purchased, walked it across the street and tried to sell it to our neighbors. When no one bought it and my dad saw me super disappointed in my entrepreneurial efforts, he did the things that dads do in life . . . he dropped a dad F BOMB. A FEEL GOOD BOMB. That is what dads do. They make you FEEL GOOD.
That is one of the most important F BOMBs I learned from my dad. Be the person that makes your children FEEL GOOD when they need it the most.
My dad died in July of 2016, but his lessons live on, his love lies on, his legacy lives on and the most important F BOMB in his life lives on . . . his FAMILY BOMB.
I would like to share with you F Bombs from My Dad on Father’s Day not to show you that my dad was best dad in the world. My dad was better than that. My dad was the best dad in the world for ME.
My dad knew that being a dad is not a contest. Dads don’t have time for contests. Dads are too busy STRIVING to do do their dad thing as best as they can because great dads don’t care.
Great dads don’t care. Great dads don’t care if you earn six figures or are six figures in debt. Great dads don’t care if you are the star of the team or the player cheering on the stars at the end of the game. Great dads only care that you do the best that you can do. Great dads only care if you are happy. Great dads only care if you are safe.
Great dads only care that you are working to get a little bit better.
My dad was often the coach of my teams, but always my biggest cheerleader whether I knocked down six threes in a game (true story) or went 0-23 from three point range to start a season (another true story). My dad taught me and lived his life with do your job to the best of your ability and do not give a F (the most common version F word) what other people think.
That skill of doing your best and not caring what other people think about you has helped me as a dentist, dad and especially a Dr. Nacho. Being Dr. Nacho is totally awesome MOST of the time, but I do need to channel my dad at times when I get messages, comments and things said about me that would. . . . let’s put it this way . . . would make my grandmother very upset to hear. My dad would say . . . those people do no get you and that’s okay. You keep doing you.
The F BOMB that I wake up and embrace the most as a dad and husband is the FUN BOMB. My dad made life really FUN for those around him in an effortless way.
From making up games for his grandchildren while cracking jokes to his dental patients . . . the FUN BOMB was my dad’s specialty. FUN is such an important topping in life. My dad took being an awesome dentist seriously and being there for those he cared about seriously, but he did not take himself too seriously. It is the guiding principle for all that I do from dad-ing to dentisting to nacho-ing, be really serious about helping human beings, but do not take myself too seriously. Contrary to popular, dentists are allowed to have fun.
Why is FUN so important? Because life can put some brutally difficult toppings on your nacho plate.
MY dad would say that he had an amazing life that was also filled with some very F-ED UP experiences. My mom died suddenly when he was 49-years old shattering his world and the world of his three children.
If being a dad was not difficult enough, now my dad had to also be a mom. What he did during that time to pick up the pieces of our lives and put us back together as a family was truly the work of a superhero. My dad role modeled the F BOMB that helps when life is extra special brutal to you . . . the MOVE FORWARD BOMB.
No matter what . . . MOVE FORWARD. MOVE FORWARD slowly. Move Forward even if you want to just sit down and not participate in life. Just keep MOVING FORWARD on your terms. If you move forward just a little bit each day (even when you really don’t F-IN want to move forward), you will surprise yourself and make progress as you process the devastating toppings of life.
It’s the most difficult of the F BOMBS, but the most important. Moving forward does not mean forgetting about what happened or not feeling what happened, it means just doing one thing that moves you forward.
It is the F BOMB I needed when my dad died suddenly five years ago and I did not not want to move forward. One of the most important people in my life reminded me of that lesson. He sent me an email that basically said . . . I know this totally sucks, I know this is unfair, I am so sorry for you, I love you and you do not have to get over the worst things in life. Just need to keep MOVING FORWARD as best you can.
As you are moving forward, you will need the next F BOMB lesson from my dad. The FIGURE IT OUT BOMB. It may be a crown that does not fit even though your last twenty crowns fit and you took the same impression and did the same prep and you want to throw the crown through the window out of frustration, but you can’t because the patient would think that is very weird. It may be your children having to go to college without the support of their mom. You have to FIGURE IT OUT in dentisting and in life.
FIGURING IT OUT is s skill that is so important. It means try this and if it does not work, try something else. It means not being too proud to ask for help. It definitely means helping others FIGURE IT OUT when they are struggling.
That is all we can do as dads, dentists and people. Keep FIGURING this whole life experience out as best we can. Unlike a veneer insertion kit, life does not come with an instruction manual. What my dad would LOVE about Dental Nachos is it is about (dentisting) humans putting their egos aside and helping each other FIGURE IT OUT.
F BOMBS from my dad are everyone, not just dads. I hope they help you in some way your daily (dad) life If you had the awesome honor of knowing my dad in person, you would know that he sometimes dropped the real F BOMB out of earshot of his grandchildren to share his frustration with the life experience and that is okay too. Dads are there to make us FEEL OKAY when life is most definitely NOT OKAY.
How would my dad like me to end this? I think he would like me to leave you with this.
Make sure to remember to F-UP your life . . . FUN UP your life, FAMILY UP your life, FRIEND UP your life, FIGURE OUT your life because life can be really F-ED UP.
While all of us children are out there today sharing how LUCKY we are to have had fantastic dads in our life (these may be your biological dad and human beings that have your back no matter what), us DADS know the real truth . . we are the F-IN LUCKY ONES :).
The greatest lesson my dad taught me was one he never said but always showed. My dad loved being a dad and I do too. Happy Father's Day to all the dads and human beings that act like dads out there striving to do their dad-thing the best way they can!
Your (dentisting) support friend,
Paul "Dr. Nacho" Goodman
drnacho@dentalnachos.com
215-543-6454 (Nacho text community)
My dad would have been so proud of what WE ARE DOING TOGETHER with Dental Nachos and Dentist Job Connect! (nacho sponsor). My dad disliked how UNKIND dentists could be towards each other. It really bothered him.
If you are a nacho member, spend five minutes on the group today SUPPORTING another (dentisting) human. It can be a simple as a like on a post. It matters more than you know! If you are not a member, join the 62,000+ member group here: Dental Nachos Facebook Group!
